The importance of family union during sickness is undeniable. When a family member is sick, particularly a child, the rest of the family needs to work and focus on the child’s physical health and mental wellness.  

During sickness, many questions haunt the patient’s mind. How did I get sick? Why now? When would I recover? Why are others totally fine while I am sick for so long? During extended treatment periods, the family plays an essential role in sustaining their relative and caring for his needs and expectations.

Family and emotional support                                 

Family love brings cohesion and a sense of belonging. If the patients are children, they will feel supported and eased thanks to a sense of predictability which will calm their anxiety. They know their family will be there the next day for another battle.

If children suffer from a complex battling illness like cancer, this unconditional love must be cultivated and nourished daily. Of course, there will always be difficulties, and some days might look longer than others, but eventually, if you keep fighting, every challenge turns into a victory.

How can I cultivate love to improve the bond among family members, particularly children undergoing such significant trials?  Here are some ways you can nurture your family love:

 

  • Listen to your children’s desires, hopes, and wishes.
    • Spend some time talking about their dreams. They might keep some thoughts for them, which is fine, but ask them to tell you about their ideas and plans. Children still don’t have all the tools in their vocabulary to clearly express their feelings, and in some cases, they might think it is hard and consider that nobody understands them, so be patient.
  • Do not expect your children to change their mood.
    • Your children must acknowledge their feelings if they suffer from a disease like cancer. Sometimes, they would like to express their impotence and be angry before they calm down and regain confidence. Avoid trying to force them to feel happy all the time. Instead, give them time and space to express all their feelings.
  • Express your love generously.
    • When they achieve a milestone in their treatment, be very visual. Children need to feel they are being recognized, particularly after difficult times. Remember that the children who might express they do not like an emotional display of happiness usually need it most. Some kids are introverted and want something more personal and private but still want to feel recognized.  A gift would always be well received.

 

Preparing children for the future

Enjoying family love is essential to shape the human brain and guaranteeing its better function over the years. Adults who have received affection during demanding situations in their childhood have a better chance of recovering from depression, anxiety, and mental health problems.

 

Dysfunctional family?

No two families are the same; there are families where a father, mother, and maybe even both are absent. However, not only the unions made from bloodlines are families, but also the ones where love has transcended links and losses.

On the other hand, if there is a complex family history where love was not the center, individual and family therapy is available. Often, facing and coping with the past is the best way to heal in the present and secure a better future for all the family members.

Love must always be the center of any union, a love that does not look for pride, self-benefit, or self-satisfaction but only for the well-being of the other.

 

By Eduardo Guillen

The story of Blake Payne is one full of love, hope, and courage. A life that ended far too soon, but that has taught us the meaning of real strength.

Blake Payne was the son of CNN correspondent Rene Marsh. Blake was a joyful two-year-old who passed on April 14 after battling pediatric brain cancer. In the words of his mother, Blake has taught her what is truly important and showed her how much strength she had stored in her heart.

A month before, Blake was reaching his second birthday together with Rene Marsh and her husband, Kedric Payne.

Motherly Love

During this time, Rene grew more than she could have ever imagined. The meaning each day had with Blake was full of lessons of love and compassion. A communion that is only reserved for those strong enough to fight against such a difficult disease.

Rene took this battle against cancer as a mission for the rest of her life. She has decided to do so as her tribute to Blake. Marsh also mentioned that she received news from doctors explaining that Blake’s cancer was in remission, but last November, it returned and spread.

It is important to highlight the fact that Rene, like many other mothers, had to emotionally experience her child’s illness too, so he could go through the treatment and care that cancer demands.

During those days, it is common for many parents to feel lost and confused. However, they know they are the light that needs to guide their children to safety, to normality. Beyond treatments and medicines that we all hope to make cancer disappear, there are also tons of love that are poured out by these parents.

It is important to highlight the fact that Rene, like many other mothers, had to emotionally experience her child’s illness too, so he could go through the treatment and care that cancer demands. 

Feelings and Imagination

Among these times, there are moments in which children might feel excluded as a result of trying to understand the reason behind the separation from their daily activities and interactions. It is in these moments that parents need to assist their children and teach them ways on how to manage anxiety, fear, guilt, depression, and anger.

These reactions change according to the age and condition of the child, and it gets more complex as they get older. There are, of course, psychological resources the parents can use, however, it is important these feelings be addressed, or they can evolve into disorders and depression. As Nancy Keene, Wendy Hobbie, and Kathy Ruccione describe in their book Childhood Cancer Survivors, “Suffering is diminished when it is shared.”

Books can help

One way of sharing these episodes and limitations caused by the illness is by revealing hopes and fears. In this field, we have access to several resources, and one of the most important is that of books. Books help children to release their imagination and escape from their physical limitations, taking them to different realities and situations.

It is in this reading dimension that we can explore new stories and be one with the characters, as well as their life and challenges.

Books to Face Difficulties and Seek Hope

These expressions are fundamental for children and their families. Parents need to not only be ready to assist their children with their doubts but also live with them in their challenges and expectations.

That is why it is not surprising that among Blake’s favorite activities, we can find books. The use of colors and joyful acts shone a new light over a landscape that perhaps, due to his illness, was turning grey in some aspects. Books, together with music, another great equalizer of experience, help parents and children get together in creating a stronger bond.    

It is in this scenario that Blake and Rene’s relationship teaches us how to approach this situation with bravery, by sharing and living every day at its fullest, with their minds aimed to comfort each other; showing to the world that love transcends and triumphs over every act and experience, even cancer.

 

By Eduardo Guillen